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Thursday, December 3, 2015

Sucker Punched

Sometimes life just sucker punches you right in the gut...or in my case the pelvis. 


October 16th two days before Paul and I traveled home from our California/Disneyland vacation I started to bleed. It wasn't bad.  Just a bit of spotting.  It was not time for my period but I chalked it up to altitude change and air travel.  I was a little crampy but not too bad.  We got home from our awesome and fun vacation and got back to normal life.  


After bleeding for two weeks are started to get worried.  Was this another miscarriage?  Was this something else? I called to make an appointment with my nurse/midwife and the best they could do was schedule me a week out.  The Tuesday before my appointment I started to cramp horribly and I was not doing well.  I called my provider and they had me come in Wednesday for an ultrasound.  Halfway through a very uncomfortable tras-vaginal ultrasound Dr. Downing was called into the room.  She looked at some of the images and did more ultrasound and she let me know to make a follow up appointment.  At that appointment my nurse midwife explained that Dr. Downing suspected endometriosis.  I had heard of endometriosis before but no provider had ever diagnosed me or even mentioned it to me before.  She said to get an actual diagnosis she would need to do a laparoscopy (an exploratory surgery).  We set up a date for the surgery and a pre operative appointment as well. 


After my pre op she sent me to the hospital for pre op labs. 3 vials of blood later.  Two days later she called me at work with results.   So my blood was saying that I was pregnant.  I couldn't believe it.  I tried not to get too excited because I had been bleeding for about 4 weeks now.  I was instructed to go back 48 hours later for more labs to see if my HSG levels had changed.  So for a few precious hours I had a glimmer of hope. I went back Friday morning and more blood was drawn.  I got the call the my levels were dropping and that she wanted to cancel/postpone my surgery.  I cried. I cried for what could have been and for what felt like another dream crushed. I prayed for comfort and for guidance. Paul was amazing and so loving and supportive. 

I was feeling ok until I was at work Tuesday and I started to feel nauseous and horrible cramps in my pelvis. I guess it was pretty obvious because my friend and co-worker Trish asked if I was ok. I told her no and explained what was going on. She advised me to call my de which I did.  My dr was seeing patients and her nurse said if I was in that much pain I should go to the ER. Trish had already started her car. She drove my to the ER and stayed with me til I was seen. They asked me some questions and gave me some morphine for the pain. My friend Shari was in town and came to be with me at the hospital. After a while they took my to have more ultrasound done (regular and trans-vaginal, the latter very uncomfortable). They couldn't see my right ovary, which I guess they were supposed to be able to see. It was a little scary. They returned me to my room. A while later, they explained that they were concerned, that my dr had seen the new ultrasounds and was concerned and was going to now do my surgery. Paul had called some friends from our ward to come give me a blessing because he was stuck at work.  Nate and Taft are both husbands of my good friends Alicia and Carrie, so Carrie came too. Our home teacher Devin Styers came as well. The nurse was a little concerned about how many people I had in my room.  I felt watched over and so loved. They gave me a blessing and anointing and it was beautiful. My dr came in to talk to me and the anesthesiologist did to. My friends Carrie and Shari took care of my things and figures out where I would go post op. Shari still stayed during the surgery. Post op Shari took me to Carrie's. They took such good care of me.  

Carrie took me to see my dr the next morning. She said I had stage 4 endometriosis or what is called frozen pelvis. 

Paul flew in that morning. He then took such good care of me. What a few weeks we had had. My hormones were crazy, I cried a lot. Paul just held me a lot. I prayed a lot too. Why?! Why was this happening again? 

I still don't know why this all happened.  What I do know is that the Lord loves me. That he sent a Savior to suffer every pain, affliction, sadness, hurt and emotion we could ever experience in this life. He sent a comforter to calm my troubled and sad heart that was broken. I know God lives and that he loves me. 

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